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God Hates America
Dear God, Thanks for making the Fourth of July on a Wednesday this year. Being omniscient, you can probably tell that I’m being sarcastic. I just thought you had an understanding with us Americans....
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Don’t Cry Saber-toothed tiger
Hang in there. I know how cruel people can be. When I was younger I had to have braces. My teeth were a constant cause of embarrassment for me. I never felt I could smile, because if I did,...
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Dear Dog Sh@t
Please leave me and my shoes alone. It is not funny or cute. And frankly I’m tired of it. Not to mention you did a great job of embarrassing me at that recent dinner party. Thank you so much for...
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